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Hello, you've reached Mia Fey. I'm sorry, I'm unable to take your call right now, but please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you.

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[In the background, a man, clearly speaking to someone else as the line opens, "Oh, if I'd known you were a lawyer..."]

Hello? May I speak to Mia?

[Mia blinks and debates a quip about asking why the person in the background would be calling a lawyer if they didn't know that, but apparently that's not meant for her ears.]

This is Mia, who am I talking to?

My name's Bruce Banner, I'm calling with a message from Diego.

Oh? What sort of message?

[She cradles the NV against her shoulder and her cheek for a moment as she tries to fish her keys out of her bag; time to get home after a long day at the office.]

Diego's been held up on the train and he's running late, but he'll be on his way soon. [Since Bruce doesn't know if Mia is a co-worker or friend or friend friend, it's not easy working out how to phrase it.]

What's happened? Is there something wrong with the train?

[She's got her key in the lock and pauses before opening it.]

No... [He also isn't a fan of lying.] He can explain it to you when he gets there. I don't think he'll be long. [Unseen on the other end of the connection, he's unconsciously making pleading eyes at Diego.]

Is he with you now?

[There is something very strange about this, Mia's starting to feel a little uneasy.]

Yes... [Oh thank you deity of hapless good Samaritans, there's an inbound train.] ...but I have to go, there's a train coming. He won't be long and he can tell you all about it then.

Can you get him to call me then? I'm not sure I understand.

[Definitely smelling a rat.]

I'll see what I can do. [The train's approach is getting loud enough that he's raising his voice.] Bye.

Wait, hold o-

[Damn it, he hung up.

Welp. Time to call Diego then.]

ARE YOU BONING THE HULK?

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW.

RESPOND IMMEDIATELY TO AVOID HOURLY UPDATES OF VANILLA ICE LYRICS FOR THE NEXT TWO MONTHS.

I beg your pardon?

Boning the Hulk. Doing the horizontal tango. Getting a beef injection. Bumping Uglies. Commanding the Bush Patrol.

Yes I understood the term. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend doesn't answer to that and it would REALLY be none of your business even if he did, but thank you for taking such an active interest in my sex life. Are YOU boning the Hulk?

Just doing my civic, anonymous survey duty, honey.

I value my pelvis too much for that.

Please don't patronize me, and please do your civic, anonymous survey duty on a less personal matter, sweetcheeks.

Thanks sourpatch, I'll keep that in mind.

[And with that, you have been spared any more trolling, my dear.]

[* PING! * GOES YOUR INBOX. A wild attachment appears!]

[WHAT DO YOU DO?

> Y (accept) / N (reject) / PIE (do you want to know more?) ]

[[OOC: This all goes with The OOC notif and this post, so.]]

Ms. Fey,

If you got this letter, it means I've gone on home to everyone else - Nick, Edgey, Maya, Pearl, yeah.

I'm really glad I got to see you again, since, well, I never saw you after Nick's first case. I'll miss you again. Good luck with your cases and with Mr. Armando, and thanks again for helping me out then, and for helping me out while I was here.

Still, I don't regret ever making that contract. You guys have always given it your all whenever it comes to defending and protecting people, and making sure they're safe. I just wanted to do my part. Anyway, I don't think I'll be a Puer Magi when I return to Los Angeles. I'm going to miss it too.

- Larry Butz

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Anonymous Text on October 1st

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All anon all the way

Hideous &hearts;

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